Potent self-leadership VS Curated leadership
Potent self-leadership unapologetically demands all the parts of you to step up, to be seen, and to be in full embodiment.
Yet many leaders are only embodying a fraction of their potential, their personality, their rawest version of themselves.
Curated leadership is a thing and it’s eating away at teams, organisations and businesses.
It’s bringing to the leadership table a version of yourself that matches only what you THINK your business/industry/team needs and matches your blindspots/masks/fixed self-concepts.
The reality is that as your business or your career evolves, so do you. Not just in skills. But in self-identity. In the masks that you wear or remove. You either evolve into a slightly different version of the familiar face you have always seen. Or you evolve by walking down less trodden paths. Let’s dive into some questions you might ask when developing potent self-leadership:
The Unchanging
Ever told yourself something like this, that inevitably holds you back from doing X, Y, or Z?
- I’ve never been a highly emotional person.
- It’s not in my blood / DNA / bones.
- I’m not photogenic enough.
- I’m not one of those leader-type people.
- I’m just not good at sales.
- I’m not creative at all.
- I don’t have anything of importance to share.
- I’ve always been this way, so why fight it?
- I just have to accept that this is how I am.
- I don’t need / want to change.
We have this innate blindspot that aims to protect us, by convincing ourselves that most of our innate traits are unmoveable, for the most part. It’s a blindspot for a reason, because it’s warping our understanding of just how much we can change and adapt and grow. Your personality, your beliefs, and your sense of self can all change and adapt, just like your choices and behaviours do. Your self-identity can change, with intentional personal growth.
The Unmasking
The reality is that since babies we’ve been moulded and shaped by our parents and the world to be “someone”. Like a lump of clay we have had a particular mask shaped around us that matches who we have been told that we are and how we choose to see ourselves. Just like clay, as these masks are moulded, the clay starts to age and dry out, and we believe more and more that we are fixed and static with our personality and our personal way of doing things.
These masks become our whole identity. And yet it’s only a fraction of who we really are.
You are so much more than your masks.
We see our parent’s life experience and assume that we too will be ‘stuck in our ways’.
With all due respect for our parents, but no it doesn’t have to be the same for us.
As generations and social standards have adapted and grown, so have our perceptions and opportunities.
You are so much more than your thoughts, your ideas of what IS and what you think is reality.
So much more than the feelings that surge through your body and heart.
More than the past experiences that have helped shape your clay mask and your identity.
You are so much more than your role or your job title.
You are capable of so much more than what you believe!
Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?
― Charles Bukowski
You are a powerful combination of thoughts, feelings, experiences and energy.
You are actually capable of changing your mind, releasing feelings, shifting your beliefs, radically rearranging how you see the world. This won’t just happen by you wishing for it. It requires introspection, reflection and processing your blindspots. It’s rarely easy. But the rewards on the other side of all of this, are ease … flow … connection … playfulness and a stronger sense of purpose. The second things I like to ask when discussing self-leadership is:
The Unbecoming
I call it the Unbecoming!
Unbecoming and decoding all the parts of yourself that have become fixed and static and feel like a roadblock.
It’s chipping away at the clay mask of our identity, to reveal that there is no solid unwavering ‘truth’ about us, only what serves us in each moment. The ultimate lesson is in how to stay unfixed and unattached to any outcome. Easier said than done. Masters of this work have spent their entire lives working through this.
It is a choice. A way to shift parts of your personality, your obsessions, your priorities and your impact on the world.
So how can you get started?
Or circle back to this work that you might have begun many moons ago?
Awareness and observation. Take notice of cues and triggers for when your identity blindspots start to takeover.
Get curious about everything.
For example…You might tell yourself… I’ve always been this way.
So ask yourself the questions…
Why do I need to still be this way?
What is the payoff for me staying this way?
What changes if I shift this belief?
The process of Unbecoming is wide and vast. It’s deep and detailed. It can be lightning-fast and can also feel like you are walking through knee-high mud.
You can connect on a much deeper level with people who can finally ‘see’ beyond your masks. It can also feel incredibly lonely at times if you are surrounded by people who are stuck behind their masks. It can feel overwhelming when you are in shadow work and peeling away the very layers of your self-identity that you have clung to for decades.
Unbecoming can feel like death, where parts of you are being ushered away.
Unbecoming can also feel like a rebirth, a deep exhale into the many synchronicities of your potential.
How you approach your own Unbecoming won’t be anything like how you have approached other changes in your life.
It will be messy. It will feel like nothing is happening at times.
I will feel like too much is happening all at once, so much so that you doubt that it’s the right thing to do.
You might even find a next-level version of yourself that equally surprises you and deeply comforts you…because it is quite simply…an image of yourself who you knew you were always meant to be.
The Unbecoming is a journey back to your heart. Your centre. Your very being.
Unreal Branding, Marketing & Potent Self-Leadership
We need more humanness.
By becoming more fluid with our masks and nimble with the unpredictability around us, we get to create and choose from a space that has much more possibilities available to us. We can see beyond any roadblock. meet challenges with innovative thinking. We get to create with ease.
From a branding, marketing and self-leadership perspective, ‘creating with ease’ is like a world without limitations. Sounds like a dream!
This dream is totally within your grasp. It simply asks that you choose to step into the process. Therefore, do the work on yourself that you need to do and your masks will fall away. You can make the unreal real, by making the choice to develop and grow from within, ask the hard questions of yourself, and be willing to step into your world without the masks that have held you back for so long!
If you are interested in self-leadership and developing your personal brand strategy, we can help you to shed the masks and dive into your true identity.
